I honestly can't tell anymore. I don't know when things are normal or if it's just me. There are so many things that I do and think and some of them scare the shit out of me. I'm realizing things from my past that I would have never thought twice about, things that are bad. Certain things that I can't do anything about anymore. It's too late. And I don't know if what I think happened, actually did, only because it was at least four years ago. I can't tell the truth from my imagination anymore. I don't know how to fix this, if it's even fixable. I don't even know what "it" is. I'm going days thinking one and only one thing. "I wish I was home, in my bed, crying." I constantly feel like crying. I cry myself to sleep, to school, when I'm just sitting around. I hate feeling like this, but I don't know how to make it go away. I guess I can't do much until I identify what the problem is. I guess in a way, it goes back to the whole question of what life is. Why is it so complicated? Why are we forced to go through so many things? Why pain and hurt, loss and sorrow? Why does it seem like there are more bad aspects to life then there are good? is this really what we were put on Earth for? Is this why we are here? Day to day I ask my self so many questions that I can't answer.
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