I've been thinking about my mom a lot lately. Probably has something to do with this big birthday I have coming up. I wonder if I ever will get over her death. I mean when you think about it, it's not like I knew her, how could I be so devastated? I have come to the realization that it's not her I miss, how could I ? I miss he thought of her. People talk about her around me and I just sit there thinking, I don't really want to hear this. I guess I inherited that from my father. He never talks about her. I think I like it that way though, I don't want to live any more of a Lifetime movie then I already am.
On to the good stuff. Boys. Ever wish we could simply go back to first grade when boys had cooties and we did not worry about relationships or sex or love? The only love we were concerned with was that of Mr.Cuddles (the teddy bear). Then you grow up and love becomes so much more complicated. It is no longer unconditional, cooties are real and deadly, and you learn to the fullest where babies really do come from. I have one guy that wants nothing but sex, another who wants a full blown relationship, a man who confesses his love for me but is engaged to another and a young man who just doesn't know what he wants. Welcome to my life. I think I might boycott men for a while. I don't mean just give them up but shut my self off from relationships or even the thought of one. It is simply unnecessary at this point in my life.
I know this one was a little random. Needed to say some of that stuff though. I hope that everyone is having a safe and happy holidays. 2010 really has been quite an interesting year. Lots of stuff has happened and not happened. Some for the better and some for the worse...but that's life. Almost my birthday. TOTALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT. You have no idea. It's going to be INCREDIBLE. Hope you all are doing fantastic!
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