Dear Friends,
Many of you I have met and become close with over the past
year. You cannot know how much that means to me. My family is not very big and
the majority of them live on the other side of the country. Growing up it was
mainly my dad, his mother, and his sister Linda; give or take a few family
members here and there but my father and I were never extremely close with any
of them. We just are not one of those types of families. My mother died when I
was fifteen months old from Leukemia. She was diagnosed while pregnant with me.
I am not bringing this up to sadden any of you or for any of you to pity me, it
is simply a fact. Growing up without a mom is not something I would ever wish
upon even my worst enemies. Not having that bond, that shoulder to cry on
without being judged, is the worst feeling in the world, almost as bad as a
broken heart. The original point to all of this was that my friends mean more
then I could ever put down in words. My friends are the ones that have watched
me laugh and cry. Sink myself and then build myself back up. They have always
loved me no matter what. I have made a
lot of mistakes in my life as I am sure you all have. I want to say thank you.
Thank you to those that have stuck by me through all of my mistakes. To those
of you that have taught me and helped me grow into the person I am today. Thank
you. We all experience hurt and loss; it is all a part of the circle of life
(And yes, I did just make a Lion King reference. Accept it.). With this New
Year I wish my friends nothing but love and joy and happiness. No matter the
mistakes, no matter the bad choices, the heart breaks, or confusion, everyone
deserves to be in love. “We accept the love we think we deserve” was said by
Stephen Chbosky and it has to be one of the most truthful quotes I have ever
read. I am probably the guiltiest person when it comes to attempting a
relationship with someone who clearly does not want one. Someone who treats me
like crap one day and a princess the next, I am that girl that says “Oh but he
would not do that if he did not care.” I am the girl that makes up excuses for
him. I hope that this year I can change that about me. I hope that I and all of
my friends can find the love we truly deserve and not just what we think we
deserve.
I know this might have just seemed like me mumbling for
quite some time but I feel it needed to be said. Hope I did not bore you all
too much. Happy New Year.
No comments:
Post a Comment